The world is noisy. It’s been about a week since I moved to Bristol from Durham. I notice how different this city is to Durham. There is a lot going on here, and the hustle-and-bustle seems to be the constant theme of this city. Amidst the constant buzz of traffic and chatter, achieving some level of silence for my mental health has felt like an uphill battle. So, I resort to what I know best: writing. Regardless of whom I write for or what I write, I have noticed that my writing involves a somewhat mysterious (?) element. Sometimes, this element helps me to achieve and maintain the kind of silence I am looking for, sometimes, well, not so much. I hope there is someone out there who can relate to this post!
When I write out what I want to say using my hand (well, with pen and paper), the words that come out at the end of my pen capture all my attention. Actually, this is not quite true. I’m not focused on each word I write. Mostly, I’m focused on what is already written and what is yet to be written. When writing, I feel this momentum that propels my hand from the already-written words to the not-yet written words. It’s almost as if the already written words push my hand to write the next words so that they can be a part of a complete sentence. I feel this tension between what is actually there on the paper and what is not there yet, and, through writing, I resolve this tension.
Now, what’s mysterious about this experience is that in this moment of tension everything (including myself) falls silent. All that inner chatter in my head and everyday life concerns I have just go away. The general acoustics of my surroundings, say, the sound of my colleagues coming into the office, pulling their chairs, adjusting them, yawning, sniffling, clearing their throat, typing away, and, sometimes, even calling my name (sorry! I couldn’t hear you) – all this – go away too. The world just gets tuned out. Everything falls silent, and I am at peace.
Does this mean that writing always helps me to achieve this peaceful silence? Short answer: No. Sometimes my hand cannot keep up with what I want to say. Words are too long and too slow. So, I “write” in dots, shapes, lines, and arrows. I find this not at all peaceful nor helpful. My concerns come back, and I start to comment on what I write as I write. Whenever this happens, I stop and just go for a walk.
So, for better or worse, I write.
Now that I have written this out, I realise that perhaps this experience is unique to me. But I doubt it. I suspect that we all have these kinds of experiences – perhaps, when we are playing games, cooking, cleaning, painting, or meditating? What do you think? Do you also have this kind of experience? We would be very grateful for your input!